you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
