I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
