remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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