on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize