Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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