Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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