i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Randomize
