first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
