He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
