you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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