As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just gift wrapped bread.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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