I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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