Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
now i know why i became what i already was.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
