I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
