But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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