she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
