if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
