And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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