That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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