question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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