I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
