Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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