So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
