He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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