the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
