that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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