that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
