its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My life is pants optional.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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