I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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