i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
