So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize