there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
