this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I fill condoms, not promises.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
