He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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