you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
