That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My vagina just recognized that song.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
