I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
