do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
