wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
