I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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