so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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