You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I need moral support for this bender
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
not ubering you a puppy
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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