Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
