you traded sex for a burrito?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
