He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
