Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
