I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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