You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We're too hungover to prance.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
