Tell her she can't have a vagina
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize