you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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