I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
