he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
