p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
