My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
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