I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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