I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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