Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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