Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
accomplished twins. life is a go
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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