the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize