hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just had sex on a roof
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
