It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
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Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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