hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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