I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
