Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
