Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
