Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
